Once Upon an Ottoman FFF

 

In the year 2005, so long ago I was not even alive, da Mama bought two sofas and two black leather ottomans.

 Day after day, night after night, month after month, year after year, Daddy sat with his feet on his. 

(No one sat in the Daddy's corner because it is a direct line to the BIG screen TV. )

Each time he wore out a corner, Mama turned it around until finally all the corners were without stuffing. Mama 's was like new because she only used hers for a desk to sit her lap desk on. 

When I came to live here in 2020, my favorite place to sleep while they watched TV was in the small spot between the two ottomans. I became AKA Line Guard for the family.

Mama explained to me that in American football, a line guard (G), otherwise known as an offensive guard (OG), is a player who lines up between the center (ottoman A) and the tackles (ottoman B) on the offensive line of a football team on the line of scrimmage used primarily for blocking.

A few days ago, I heard Mama say, your ottoman is disgraceful, it has no stuffing, the buttons are gone, the leather looks horrid. I can't even get it clean with leather cleaner. We need to take it to the curb for trash pick-up and I will put mine in front of YOUR PLACE IN FRONT OF TV. I can do without a desk for my desk. 

(She watches TV on the love seat sitting with the two pillows behind her back with legs on the sofa.)

Daddy got upset, and said loud words, and when he said YOU JUST DON"T LIKE IT BECAUSE ITS UGLY, she mumbled ugly words not to be repeated here and huffed off down the hall to her desktop computer. 

  Suddenly Daddy jumped up and hefted the 50-pound ottoman and storming out the door, kicking it shut with his foot, walked to the curb, opened the lid to the BIG GREEN Garbage can and dropped it inside. This may have caused more words since furniture is not allowed in The Big Green Can on Wheels. It is to be placed on the curb. 

Da Mama came steam rolling out of the computer room and I heard words like,

What if it breaks the wheels off, what if it is so heavy the arm can't lift it and throw it in, what if the come in the truck with no arms and the garbage guy can't lift it?

 What if when they smash the garbage thingy the OTTOMAN breaks the guts inside the Garbage Truck?

there may be more, but again not to be repeated in front of the Child in This House of Adults.

Later that day, the truck came, the arm did not break, the truck drove off just like it always does.

Now back to my story...

MY story... the lack of Two Ottomans in the same place since October 13th, 2020, presented a problem.

 I was confused, I could not figure out why the space was empty. Too Much Space, what to do, what to do?

Where should I lay, at first, I would lay snugged against Daddy's new ottoman, like I always did, but then it occurred to me I was not doing my JOB which is Line Guard and not properly blocking the path daddy walks. If I lay on the sofa close enough to be petted, he can stand and walk away. 

If I remove myself from the middle of the sofa, which is where I prefer, especially if Mama sits on her end and they both pet me at the same time, and just move my 80-pound body, spread out as far as I can, this will effectively block all exits from the sofa.

If you look carefully there is a 10-inch-wide space between love seat and ottoman, now Daddy sidles through that to go down the hall. Mama says don't do that you will fall, Daddy does it anyway. she says, just tell him to move.  If Daddy tells me to move I DON"T. If Mama Uses Her Mama Voice, I get up and move. By that time, Daddy is all the way to the bathroom anyway. Then we have to listen to Mama threaten Daddy by saying, if you fall and break a hip, I can't take care of you, and I am not going to hang out with you in a nursing home. 

While I was laying here by the only Ottoman in the house, I saw mama searching on her laptop, she gave me the 

  and said, don't tell daddy I am looking at ottomans...

Today we are joining Yam at My Take, for Final Friday Feature and Just so you know, I AM THE FEATURE and as always, I SLEEP Wherever I Want...butt NOT in da Mama's bed.

Joining FFF with Yam HERE