Monday, April 20, 2020

Canine Post Office

Canine Post Office
The worst part about working at the fire hydrant factory...
is that you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

I wonder if you are bored enough to read the joke Mama Found. She said to tell you We Got Nothin Much today


The Purina Diet
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs.

I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had..an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

18 comments:

Ella said...

Awesome! You are a treasure of a person!
I have laughed with tears .... I will remember that Purina diet!
Fortunately we don't have that many hydrants ... 😂😂😂😂 😉😰

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
..........can you see the pee on the floor. That's your fault........
&*<> Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

Rose said...

Laughing at Yam's comment...what would've do without blogging?

Brian said...

That's too funny and we think it needed to be told!

My Mind's Eye said...

Oh you have made me giggle uncontrollably
Hugs Cecilia

eileeninmd said...

LOL, funny joke! Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your day!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha. The mom has a wonderful sense of humor.

Thank you for joining the Awww Mondays Blog Hop.

Have a fabulous Awww Monday and week, Big Boy. My best to your funny mom. ♥

Mevely317 said...

That's so funny! Once when Caraleigh was a pup I'd gone down to spend the weekend at my mom's. For some reason I got distracted while fixing Cara's kibble, and left the bowl on the counter top. When I walked back in the kitchen, here stands my mom nibbling on the kibble. Oops!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

LOL, funny story!

Mersad said...

Haha that's a funny comeback from you to the lady :)
What was she thinking? :)

Catscue Cat Mom said...

You so rule, no, OWN the perfect comeback to dumb questions!

Ann said...

I've heard the Purina diet joke before and it makes me laugh every time I read it.

Chatty Crone said...

Okay - I have to say that was really - really funny. I enjoyed it.

The Adventures of the LLB Gang said...

LOLOLOLOLOL!!

Thanks for the wonderful belly laugh Big!!

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

BOL! Good ONE, BB.

lexitheschnauzer said...

You made me smile real big. In fact, still smiling.

lexitheschnauzer said...

You made me smile real big. In fact, still smiling.

The Happy Whisk said...

Hahahahahahahahaha. That was the best post I read this morning. Very, very funny. Good ending too.